Ash, the "FNG"

Ash. He's the new roomie, so in an attempt to break him in and welcome him to the house, Chris and I spent some quality time at the bottom of a few beers with him this past week. Wow, the kid can drink! "Have to keep up to you Canadians, ya?" he said. Well, in the midst of my razzing him most of the night, which anyone who's seen "Evil Jay" can sympathize with, he asked about the Calgary/Edmonton rivalry. The gleem in my eyes and grin gave me away to Jau-ruey, who was there as our sober witness, but Ash is too new and too nice to suspect anything. So as I went on about how Edmonton went to the Stanley cup this year and Calgary went their last time I mentioned that his Calgary T-shirt, which he was wearing at the time, wasn't fully Canadianized yet. "What, how's that, ya?" he asks. "Well..." I explain, "It's the Calgary FLAMES hockey team and so they usually burn the shirt sleeves off their shirts for that customized look. But only TRUE fans do it, only True Canadians, eh? Do you want me to show you how?" hahahahahahhaha. He runs upstairs, gets a new shirt and gives me this Calgary shirt off his back, me! Evil Jay. It's not in my hands ten seconds and I'm in my kitchen firing up my gas stove and I just dump it on the burner then waltz back into the living room. Jau-ruey goes screaming into the kitchen to try to rescue it, but alas, it had burnt through.... hahahahahahaha... FNG's are the best.
The back of Ash's new "Calgary Flames" shirt.
The damage.
Much to his credit, Ash is the greatest ever. He took it all in stride and bought me beer the next night to prove it. So I'll make it worth his while, as I can't go around destroying too many things from Calgary. So I'm going to have to come up with some sweet Edmonton Memorabilia to make up for it. Fuckin' New Guy survived a week of drinking with me. Respect.